I haven’t written for some time due to my beloved dog dying. I’ve also had stuff related to a friend to navigate that has taken my energy and focus, but for today, and next Tuesday, because of a conversation I had with my therapist, who is on holiday for 2 weeks, I am posting here. These posts will be my “support” until she returns. Although my therapist doesn’t support me in the way you might imagine.
I chose my therapist carefully. It had to be a woman; I get on much better with women than I do men. It had to be an autistic therapist. They needed to be very political, a socialist, and able to spot bullshit. The cherry on the cake was that they weren’t British. I’m not fond of the white middle-class therapy cult that positions itself above its clients. Tories or Liberals who tell you you’re the problem instead of the system you are enslaved by.

I posted on BlueSky recently that I felt so trapped by prejudice that I feel I can’t write the things I’d like to. The reason for this is because older men are seen as perverts and stupid, disabled people are seen as worthless, and also because I am still struggling to find the balance of writing a political blog, or an autism, sexuality blog. As you can imagine, the two don’t mix. So I think I’ll put the more personal content behind a password. Maybe I will add a small charge to keep the idiots away.

I told my therapist that I feel like an alien. That I speak a different language. That there’s nobody like me in my world. It is frustrating and lonely to be surrounded by automatons. I either have to downgrade myself or have no human contact, and neither of those options work for me.